self destruct

puppy please

2009-09-11T00:08:00.001-07:00

i worked 7 hours today, its been a while since i could say that. it was super stressful but i think i'll get used to it. justine works with me so thats nice to have her around. :) things have been okay lately.. school is boring as ever-i don't know how i'm going to make it through another 2(-2.5??) years of this. blegh

i've been feeling very bi-polar lately, go figure. super happy sometimes, mad depressed the rest. i wish i could clearly express what i mean. i'm tired of my roomates leaving me. i'm tired of feeling totally unimportant to anyone. just like bummed out on life. its just a phase but its killing me.

i feel like i have the vocabulary of a fucking sixth grader.

how much would you bet
that if i tried hard enough
i would spontaneously combust
i wish i could disappear
and run away from all my fears
i think i'm coming undone

give me a puppy and i think i'll feel better.

rvagain

2009-08-24T13:20:00.001-07:00

Things in Richmond have been amazing. I've spent so much time with all of my best friends-even Caiti and Misty, Cierra even came to see me a couple weeks ago. I'm really glad I'm settled into my apartment, now to only find a job... I'm bummed school has started but its nice to actually have a purpose again. Overall I'm beyond happy, things are really looking up up up. :)

times are changin'

2009-07-26T20:40:00.000-07:00

summer is slipping out of my fingers, however i can't help but embrace the fall. i'm at such a weird place, a mark in adulthood. i move into my apartment on grace street on friday. it's strange knowing that after this i probably will never live at home again. it completely breaks my heart leaving my little brothers, they're the best part of my life. every time i think about leaving them i start to cry. :( don't get me wrong, i'm ready to move... i just don't want my little brothers to grow up while i'm not around. life really is so short, its such a cliche thing to say but even at 20 i feel like time is flying by. i just need to spend good times with good people, i need to get my head on straight, i need to get a job, i need to pay off my debt, i need to do well in school, i need to quit smoking so much weed. :x

on a happier note, i bought new things for the apartment today . some kitchen stuff, a gold ET statue from happys (best find ever), cute little butterfly dishes. my grandma gave me a ton of stuff too. stokedd. life is pretty good. i'm trying to get a job at bottoms up, i hope it works out.

also caiti is coming to see my new place on saturday. soooooooo excited to see my burl, i miss her to death!

i'm super sleepy but i should clean more of my room.. just can't do it.

xox

doo wop

2009-07-17T21:49:00.000-07:00

i want new dresses, guess i gotta keep on dreamingg.

horror business

2009-07-01T13:51:00.000-07:00

also, download pujo - i'll try to put up a link later. they're a folk misfits (danzig era) cover band. about it.

also about my new tattoo julia gave me. :)
stoked about florida on saturday.
still lonely though. :(

steel train

2009-06-29T22:07:00.000-07:00

i have to be up early but i'd rather blog, go figure.

i just got back from richmond around 7pm. pretty bummed to be back home, i've been in the weirdest mood all day but can't quite place my finger on it. though being with friends all week i come back home and just feel more lonely than ever. :( i just can't seem to get out of this state of mind. this has been the best summer so far, but this has also stuck with me for the past few months. i think its a combination of losing my job, constantly disappointing my parents, being broke, so many new changes coming up and genuinely feeling like i have no one here for me. my friends say they are but they're still hours away and its not the same. i know i only have a month or so left of this but it still just sucks. i don't want another hour of this, another day, another week. i don't want to or need to complain anymore, i just need to get my life in order.. i'm just not sure how to go about that, not sure what's out of order. i just need somebody.

:(

god loves you

2009-06-17T08:34:00.000-07:00

nothing but rain in the future but i can't help but to be so elated. i move in with two of the cutest girls i know in less than a month and my best friend will live next door to me. this is going to be the best year of my life. i'm going to move in with charlie next week and hopefully take a trip down to norfolk soon. :) as much as i hate to say it, i love life...or i will once i get out of here at least. between the bills piling up and all the shit i have to get done before school i'm kinda stressing but i think everything will work out well. life is good, i love my friends, now i just wanna fall in love.

birthday post

2009-05-26T10:26:00.000-07:00

urban outfitters

still hoping for these..

i'll post more later <3
buy me any or all of those things

soup or fish all

2009-05-18T00:04:00.000-07:00

fucking genius! cupcake flavored floss, yes please!

also, i love this aa dress. super adorable.

this too

2009-05-14T09:10:00.000-07:00

wtf was i talking about in my last blog?
embarrassinggggg

FUpt2

2009-05-13T01:38:00.000-07:00

i wish i had a twitter,
not really but if i did it would say

"haley wants to pee on the floor right now"

i'm beyond fucked up and i want to fight everyone..

DO SOMETHIN, YOU WON'T!

FU

2009-05-13T00:43:00.000-07:00

srsly want to kill everyone
srsly worst day
srsly hate you all
srsly want to move
srsly still want to kill everyone
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

i'm gonna finish the rest of this AWESOME natty light and then smoke the rest of my cigarettes, kill everyone, and then sleep. kbye

parents just don't understand

2009-05-12T08:51:00.000-07:00

i'm dumb

had to be at work at 9am, woke up at 11:15... that sucks. gotta work again at 4:30 so hopefully i'll make it then.. haha only kidding of course. naw but forreals my parents are so pissed at me, i feel like this kind of signifies me DEFINITELY moving to richmond at the end of the month. i have to, it's forreal fucking killing me here. if only they knew how unhappy i was living here. i wish i could move to richmond right now, fuck work, fuck life, fuck responsibilities. i have no vocabulary but "fuck", "weed", "sleep", and "work". waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh i wish i didn't suck so hard, chill with me all the time. richmond in 2.5 weeks, fuck yall.

thx, h@

ps: bring me weed

187

2009-05-08T22:42:00.000-07:00

yes please

finally

2009-05-07T23:51:00.000-07:00

so looks like i'm going to be moving to richmond earlier than i thought. will and i are gonna share a room at charlie's house. lolol its gonna rule. so stoked to be in richmond for the summer, so stoked to be away from this place, so stoked to be on my own again. ftww i will miss lots of people here though.. :( (ca, spense, jamie, cierra, natalie, baby brothers). mm anyways stoked on that, stoked on doing really well on all my exams and final projects. life's pretty good right now.

2009-05-06T04:45:00.000-07:00

"and you hate the person you've become - bitter, angry, and isolated"

couldn't have said it better myself. getting kicked out is no fun, neither is having no place to stay. fuck i hate this. hate life, hate everyone, never slept last night, stomach hurts from so much coffee. i better do well on this exam and pass this class or i'm going to straight up kill somebody.

:(:( cheer me up, i know it's my fault but damn.. it'd be nice to have somebody sometimes.

2009-05-04T12:13:00.001-07:00
also 27 days left of being a teenager, i better live this shit up

h8 getting old, ftw

666

2009-05-04T12:10:00.001-07:00

officially not stoked to go to work, so tired of it. give me money to do nothing please? please??? please please plz plz plz dfjfuck fuck fuck. brother found my weed, thats cool. told my mom, thats whatever. i can't wait to move to richmond. wish i could go nowwwwwwww. i see myself falling into a lot of my old habits, i need to stop this before it gets out of hand. got to go dry my fucking hair and put on my black uniform and ship off to society. PEACE

this says it all

2009-05-02T12:04:00.000-07:00

this fully sums up about 75% of the friendships i have, thanks friends.

I always had a weak spot for you
You only needed me when it was convenient
I learn now, don't let people in my life so fast
Cos' they never last
I find my childhood friends are the ones I can depend on.
Cos' everyone has a past, right or wrong.

You were a fairweather friend
You didn't have my back til the end
You took what you needed and disappeared again
Fairweather friend, you didn't have my back til the end
You took what you needed and disappeared again.

We don't need friends like you
We don't need friends like you
We don't need friends like you
Right or Wrong

hate

2009-04-22T08:22:00.000-07:00

I'm so tired of cops, speed limits, no sleep, whining, being sick, school.

-I hate that weeds not legal, not because I'm a pot head but because I believe that as an American citizen you have the right to make choices for yourself.

-I really hate that gay marriage isn't legal. 1. Honestly I'm tired of hearing about it. I wish it wasn't even anything that was an issue or something that needed to be talked about. 2. Once again I think its your right to be able to make your own choices. 3. Plus let's face it, your neighbors Christopher and Steven getting married will not ruin your already failing marriage or be detrimental to your little brat's future. Ps: Fuck off Ms.California.

I might write more later.
Htw
Anarchy! Anarchy! Anarchy!

so gone

2009-04-21T21:42:00.000-07:00

i am too sleepy to put together sentences that make sense

my stomach aches
my eyes are half closed
my heart is empty
i'm worn

i miss having people in my life
who actually give a shit

i miss irresponsibility
i miss sleeping when i want
doing what i want
when i want and
not having to work

i don't want to be sleeping in my bed right now, i'm feeling whiny.. i hate when i get like this.

2009-04-19T17:35:00.000-07:00

richmond was a blast
this weather is amazing
i got a new wardrobe
i'm going to clean my room
and blow my nose
and do my homework
and sleep.

i miss justine already :(

you know what it's like

2009-04-09T00:31:00.000-07:00

when you have to force yourself not to text somebody
can't think about anything else
hate not being around them

missed this

parallels, attention and time

2009-03-21T23:50:00.000-07:00

tonight on my drive home (listening to tv on the radio) all i could think about was how all i wanted to do was go home, take off all my clothes and blog... so here i am.

i've come to realize a lot of things as of late, let me explain.

1. i have this one friend, she is one of my best friends but we're constantly talking about her shitty relationship she's in. i always tell her she needs to quit dat dick but bitch won't listen. they just love each other too much but can't be together, you know.. that kind of thing. anyways, on my drive home tonight i realized a parallel relationship i have in my life. never noticing it before but i have someone in my life currently who is the hov, to me.. beyonce (wtf am i talking about?). but i hope you understand though.

2. earlier tonight i got an IM (that i got after work) from an old friend that sparked thoughts..i know that i definitely have commitment issues (lame) but i completely stand by what i say "my hearts too big." i'd love everyone if i could, i don't know what it is but this accurately describes me.

i just get really bored easily, other people attract my attention. i don't mean for it to be that way but if you're not trying hard enough, in the words of tegan and sara (lol), "i'm not unfaithful, but i'll stray." i'm sorry boys, i don't mean to be such a heartless bitch all the time. really i don't, but you need to try
harder to keep my attention if you wanna make it happen. it's not that i don't want to be in a relationship but i just can't get someone to get me to pay attention for five minutes. sweep me off my feet plz, i want to be blown away.

if ya like it then you shoulda put a ring on it

3. another realization: the reason my room is always a complete disaster zone is because i'm always late for something (and throw clothes everywhere while getting dressed and never have time to clean up) and if not late then definitely not early either. late for class, late to work (just a minute or two), late to meet my friends, late to pick up my brother. one thing i've decided since i've started being grown is that i 100% need to work on my time management skills. i feel like everyday is actually like 10 hours and i work 6 of those, party for 2, eat for 1, and sleep for 1. it's a terrible life and starting tomorrow ima be a changed woman. this is completely unacceptable.

-h@ley

(post secret you always "get" me)

life

2009-03-21T12:12:00.000-07:00

i work too much to blog (i always say blong), i hate it.
i've been working to pay off all my debt i've acquired lately.. after working tonight i should be finished...

$$$
-paid sister $60 today (owe $50)
-need to pay bank $151.14 (ftw)
-still need to pay off wachovia which hasn't been done for months...

once i get all that bullshit taken care of i can finally start saving money to move back to richmond...

no work tomorrow, ima blo(n)g all day long.

a further note,
i need to stop partying so hard
eating so much fast food
and smoking cigarettes

recap

2009-03-10T21:22:00.000-07:00

Richmond breaks my heart, I miss it and the people there more than anyone can know. I finally decided I'm moving back come the summer, there's no place else for me (at least for the time being). I'm glad I've grown up a lot since last year, I'm not naive anymore. I'm not stupid and I have a lot better judge of character this go round.

I'm so lonely these days, I'm not really sure what's gotten into me. I think it's because in Richmond I'm around Justine and so many other people who make me so happy and I truly love to be around and I know they feel the same way... but here it's like if I don't call anyone I'll go days and days without hearing from any of my "friends". I don't have anyone anymore. I miss Caiti more than I can say, I'm trying to go see her this weekend.. I really hope that can happen. I know I just went to Richmond but I just can't stay in this city anymore, Greensboro's calling my name. I know never again in my life will I have a friend like Caiti, she makes me mad sometimes but there's no one in this world who is more amazing than she is.

I hate feeling like I can't breathe anymore because of this stupid habit I've aquired. I'm going to quit this before it gets too outta control. I got a new job, working at Wasabi's. It's the first legit, well paying job I've ever had. It stresses me out beyond belief, I feel like I'm never going to learn all the bullshit I need to know, and my boss terrifys me... but I think I'll be okay and god knows I need the money. I figured it up and between my two jobs I think I can save at least $3,000 by the time it rolls around for me to move, so I feel pretty secure with that. I need to fill out my VCU application asap. I don't think it's due for a while but I'd like to find out via early decision.

I feel like I'm so incredibly boring these days, I appologize a thousand times over.

shiloh jolie pitt

2009-03-07T12:32:00.001-08:00

makes my heart swoon

sick gurl :(

2009-03-03T22:28:00.000-08:00

honestly i wish i could have like 15 different relationships with 15 different people. i love too many people, need to sort my fucking life out. grow the fuck up. stop playin'.

i'm broke

2009-03-02T08:54:00.000-08:00

if money were not an option pt. 2, featuring urban outfitters.

material girl

2009-03-01T11:08:00.000-08:00

if money were not an option, featuring karmaloop..

(these alifes are going to be the next thing i purchase when i have a little extra $$$, TOO cute!)

(mostly just that girl)

I NEED

2009-02-28T14:34:00.000-08:00

to get my nails done asap... like seriously, its been three weeks i think. fml

i don't know what i'm gonna get this time, i really want leopard print but they're always such lazy pieces of shit and never want to do it... so... maybe two colors and rhinestones? going all out.

i want

2009-02-28T13:35:00.000-08:00

a good job
a new pet
longer hair
and a
smaller frame

also somebody
to be with
a friend who's
always there
and weed

BITCH

2009-02-28T12:59:00.000-08:00

people seriously baffle me sometimes, like you really like you're cool?

puh-lez, get out of my internet!

can't live without...

2009-02-23T08:40:00.000-08:00

As instructed to do so by a good friend (http://getatthekid.com/blog/) here is my "Products of my Environment" blog, things I use everyday and cannot live without.

Phone: First and foremost my Blackberry Curve, it's a little out of commission right now after I broke the trackball out but its by far been the best phone I've ever owned. I don't know what I would do without it. <3

Shoes: These black on black Vans authentics are by far my favorite pair shoes, they go with most everything I could want to wear. You can't ever go wrong with a pair of vans, so classic and sleek.

Jewelry: Best Christmas present I've ever been given. Since the day I got, my necklace it hasn't come off my neck once (except to lay in the tanning bed for 15 minutes).

Camera: I love love love my camera, best thing I've ever owned. I need to invest in new lenses asap but other than that its amazing.

Drugs: It's no secret that I love my weed in any form. Blunts, bongs, bowls, joints (not as much), gravity bongs (my true love) etc. I'm much of a marijuana connoisseur.. my best friend is about to bring me some Bubblegum Kush.. omg

Hair care: The days of bleaching my hair out really reeked havoc on my strands. Frizzy, thin, split ends, damaged.. couldn't complain about my hair more. But as of lately my hair has grown so long and strong, this is the healthiest my hair has been in years. I often get asked what hair products I use. Along with Paul Mitchell original shampoo and conditioner, Paul Mitchell Super Skinny Serum, and Rusk Shining spray, this It's a 10 Miracle hair mask has been my savior. Not only does it smell amazing, it leaves my hair softer and sleeker than ever. It also comes in a spray bottle which I use. I could rave on and on about this stuff for days. (I feel like an advertisement)

Gum: One thing that is undoubtedly always in my purse. I love gum, I love having fresh breath but if its too minty it hurts my mouth and I don't like sweet gum but this is the perfect combination of both.

Glasses: If you know me at all you know my infatuation with sunglasses. For a while I've been wanting a pair of heart shaped ones but living in this tiny town no one carries anything I want.. Until one day when I stumbled into Target only to find the glasses of my dreams and at only $12.50! I wear them mostly everyday and I couldn't live without them.

Music: I don't think a day has gone by in which I haven't played Faster Than The World by H20, I'd even go as far to say that it is my favorite CD ever. I love every single song on it, a masterpiece. Ima go listen now. :)

Computer: I got my Macbook in the summer of 2007, in the year and a half I've had it I've never had one problem with it.. other than running out of memory but luckily I got an external hard drive for Christmas. Apple>anythingelseever. After owning this I'll never own anything other than an Apple. Built in camera and video chatting is my favorite of course! :)

Water: My true love, I used to hate it (wtf was I thinking??) but now I can't live without it (literally). People always give me shit for buying "expensive" water but I don't buy cigarettes or anything, might as well buy nice water. And $2.50 is hardly what I would call expensive.

that thing

2009-02-21T18:11:00.001-08:00

YES YES YES

2009-02-21T11:50:00.000-08:00

Holy shit, I've never wanted anything more. So genius for the spring collection. As always, good job Steve.

plz

2009-02-21T11:31:00.000-08:00

shut up dad

2009-02-15T13:16:00.000-08:00

Nobody reads my blog but me and that's okay, I don't mind (much).

Things going on with me currently
-Yesterday was Valentine's day and never before was I so happy to be single. I've never really been happy single until recently and I love it. :) Oh I do have a girlfriend though and she took me on the best date last night, love her.

-I am currently applying at ODU, I want to move to Norfolk insanely bad. I miss Richmond to death but I just don't know if I can do it again, I need something new.. I'll probably apply again at VCU just to have that option but if I get into ODU (which I'm sure I will) I'll most likely go there.

-Will got me (almost) a job at Humble Pie. So glad he's good for something (HAHA), only kidding of course. COWORKERS!! I need a job so damn bad, hope this works out.

-Starting April 13th I am kicked out of my house. Can I live with you until I move in May-Juneish? :( Please?? I have no idea what I'm going to do.. pretty stressed.

Anyways, overall good weekend. Overall good mood and life. I'm glad I'm happy right now, it's nice for once.

love hurts

2009-02-13T15:19:00.000-08:00

the thirteen year old girl in me still gets wet for brandon boyd

ps: get rid of that creepstache bby

yummy, delicious, sexullant

2009-02-12T12:39:00.000-08:00

in the spirit of the holiday i thought i'd post a little valentine inspiration..

yes plz, all of these things sz md/36d. pleaseeeeeeee!

plunge demi bra - $45

ruffle satin baby doll - $38

bow back thong - $15.50

ruffle baby doll - $48

the cami and knicker set - $39.50

sheer slip - $38

babydoll slip dress - $38.50

dream angels demi bra - $45

The Neon Leopard Mesh Cami and Boyshort Set - $35

The Mesh Cami and Boy Short Set in Scuba Blue - $35

The Sin Underwear Set - $38

Plunge Demi Bra - $45

PLEASE

2009-02-11T09:26:00.000-08:00

WHY CAN'T I FIND SOMEONE TO DO MY NAILS LIKE THIS??? NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME!

see ya!

2009-02-10T11:04:00.000-08:00

i'm moving to the beach to be with the one i luvv

this week

2009-02-10T09:18:00.000-08:00

style inspiration this week:

sooo cute, i love everything about this outfit. i really want to get a (faux) fur piece soon. not sure what kind but i'm gonna be on the look out. also her scarf is adorable, love it.

goodbye

2009-02-10T00:29:00.000-08:00

oh friends

2009-02-02T23:06:00.000-08:00

let me tell you about the time i hung out with this random dude in my english class and did shrooms

that time being now
but really, this is amazing

im so happy and chilling out and listening to nwa. tonight, for some reason, i feel like everything is perfect.

i love so many people. often times i think i hate the world but then i really think about it and thats not true at all. there are soo many people in my life, near and far (ben :( ) who i love so much it just absolutely consumes me. regardless of how often we speak or what the situation is, i still love these people so much. ima do a real quick shout out right now, this is something i've been meaning to do.

misty- there is no one else like you. there never will be. i miss us, we were unstopable. such a dynamic duo. got into some mischief but had so much fun. girl you'll never know but those were really the best times of my life. i miss you more than anything in the world and theres nothing i wouldn't give to be with you always.

caiti- burl you're the best. thats all there is to it. you're the most amazing, gorgeous, sweetest, southern charmer i've ever met. theres never been a moment when i've been with you that i've been anything but so blissfully happy. i love you more than you have any idea about, i would do anything for you.

sister- you're the most amazing person i know. i completely take you for granted sometimes and i apologize. but damn, no one can have fun like we can.. i really don't know what i would do without you. you're my better half, no one knows me like you. <3<3<3 sister friends forever

i wanna give a fast shout out to my other homies, i love yall dearly

-n@
-emuhhlee
-jules
-jamie
-si
-benjamin <3
-joshuaaa
-dustin
-m.terry
-justine (this weekend!!)
-titus
-the rest of richmond <3

i just couldn't be happier, i wish i could share this with the world

jean dress

2009-02-02T07:41:00.000-08:00

i'm honestly convinced someone comes into my room and steals my clothes out of my closet. i can't tell you how many things that i loved and cherished have mysteriously gone missing, even things than i haven't worn in a long time. pissed.

a few things

2009-02-01T11:06:00.000-08:00

just a poem and some cool links i've found lately...

my life had stood - a loaded gun -
in corners - till a day
the owner passed - identified -
and carried me away -

and now we roam in sovreign woods -
and now we hunt the doe -
and every time i speak for him -
the mountains straight reply -

and do i smile such cordial ight
upon the valley glow -
it is as a vesuvian face
had let it's pleasure through -

and when at night - our good day done -
i guard my master's head -
'tis better than the eider-duck's
deep pillow - to have shared -

to foe of his - i'm deadly foe -
none stir the second time -
on whom i lay a yellow eye -
or an emphatic thumb -

though i than he - may longer live
he longer must - than i

-emily dickenson

long exposure photography
be my valentine
weed porn
good music

yall i like this right now

2009-01-30T11:12:00.000-08:00

despite a few things i am overall really happy with my life right now.

things that i'm doing to make myself happy

-joined the gym, i love it so much. ima addict. plus all my best girl friends go there so its a blast when i go.
-tanning bed, maybe not the healthiest but who doesn't mind being tan??
-getting my nails done regularly. i have been doing this for a while now but i just love it so much, its nice to pamper yourself every once in a while.
-eating healthier, water water water
-loosing the most weight
-my hair is so long and silky now, i need to get the ends trimmed though.
-making new friends, being happy
-being happy with old friends as well
-last but not least... going to richmond next weekend,

can't
fucking
wait

: (

2009-01-26T07:11:00.000-08:00

well things are over, it ended as quickly as it began really. i think its for the best but it does make me sad. i don't want to loose people in my life, especially such an awesome person. i hope this works out.

2009-01-23T14:47:00.000-08:00

i saw notorious the other day and it wasn't as bad as i thought it was going to be. for what it was i think it was done pretty well. after seeing that it just made me only want to listen to rap, constantly. i always go in and out of these music moods. i will choose one genre or band and become completely enveloped in it. i won't listen to anything else for weeks (possibly even a month), so right now my obsession is rap 24/7.

nwa - because they never gave a fuck about anything that was being said about them. they neva gave 2 fux if everyone was pissed they were talking about life on the streets and police brutality, which is what i really admire about them. they told it how it was. (RIP EAZY)

big - it's such a shame that you were taken from us so young. only two cd's out and you still managed to completely change the rap game as well as the world. i'll forever love and miss you. biggie forever

the fugees - so sweet and smooth, lauryn hill has the most amazing voice and wyclef's raps are always the tightest. couldn't respect this group more.

kanye west - i have such a love/hate relationship with kanye. as much as i want to hate him i can't help but love every song he puts out. the only beef i have with kanye is how much he pushes himself to be a "legend". where i don't disagree that he is/will be one that doesn't mean he should push it upon himself. if he is a truly great artist then it should just come to him. still love you though kanye, best dressed for sure. ps: i love everything you've done for louis vuitton so far. good luck. pps: i'll be your wifey any day <3

jay-z - you've always been my favorite, since the beginning. first black guy crush. i don't have much to say about you but you got the sickest rhymes and i'm glad you finally put a ring on it, beyonce deserved that shit.

lil kim - my biggest inspiration thus far. lil kim embodies everything i want to be. i love trashy, slutty rapper girls and she's the OG. plus there's no denying she rhymes better than any other female and somehow she manages to be so hard yet so sexy at the same time. i hope one day i can be half the woman she is.

kid sister - livin' the dream! wish you were my girlfriend. i'd def be a lesbian for you. muah muah muah. can't wait for your new cd to drop!

lupe fiasco - i think lupe fiasco changed my life honestly. i shared all of my first high experiences with him. i remember hours of just sitting on the floor with caiti and the gb, listening to food & liquor. that was such a definitive rap cd for me, it's when i first realized how cool rap could be. ily lupe, you truly inspire me and i'll miss you when you retire. this next cd better be off the hook. love forever

the cool kids - i am so in love with mikey, #1 biggest black dude crush ever. we've shared so many special moments, i should have had you when i could! ughh, h8 myself forever. anyways, the cool kids always have the dopest rhymes and tightest beats. not to mention the sexiest. yummm. cum 2 mama. <3

kangay

2009-01-22T12:18:00.000-08:00

"I know people will find that as another thing to hate me on, but fuck it. I'm open to doing porn. Hell, I'll even do bisexual scenes - myself, another man and a woman, or just me and two women. I know people will find that as some weird shit, but I am who I am."

upd8: kanye didn't actually say this but its still funny as hell

rip heath

2009-01-22T08:22:00.000-08:00

miss you boo :(

watch me

2009-01-21T04:56:00.001-08:00

honestly my true calling in life is to be a girl rapper, make this dream happen for me.

empty

2009-01-19T20:57:00.001-08:00

don't think i have it left in me

scaggs

2009-01-17T15:19:00.000-08:00

i hate when my parents fight but love when my mom stands up to my dad
hate my dad, hate hate hate

what happened to me wanting to hate less? i think its in my blood.

ftw
fml

new years reprised

2009-01-16T07:37:00.000-08:00

1. improve my vocabulary- learn a new word everyday and try to use it
2. stop being so materialistic
3. get rid of things i don't need
4. give, give, give
5. get 8+ hours of sleep a night
6. don't hold grudges, let everything go
7. love more, hate less
8. actually do my homework this semester, try harder in school
9. read at least a book a month (other than for school)
10. find a good job and stick with it

i think this is a much better list than my first; however i will keep "work on not being a whiny bitch," that's necessary.

two thousand fine

2009-01-15T12:42:00.000-08:00

late new years resolutions:

1. work on not being a whiny bitch
2. stop buying weed so much
3. go to sleep earlier
4. blog more
5. + 10 inches of hair
6. -20 more pounds
7. better myself
8. be a better daughter, friend, sister, sister-friend
9. love more
10. stop hatin' so hard

peach plum

2009-01-15T10:36:00.001-08:00

today i'm starving
today i broke a nail
today my boyfriend wouldn't answer
today i'm lonely and needy and annoying

on the other hand i bought a new tripod and my school books and picked up my puppy from the vet (she got her lady bits snipped at).

i wish i was happy with where i am in my life but i'm not at all, never content. just when i think things are getting better something happens and my outlook on life is completely changed, however yesterday my fortune cookie said "you are heading in the right direction" so that may be a good sign.

i hate being like this, i know it annoys everyone around me. i'm sorry if you read this, i'll try to be more interesting next time.

assassination is such a funny word

2009-01-14T07:48:00.000-08:00

-something is missing, i'm not sure what it is but nothing seems right these days.
-i need to get out of this town, it's really been wearing on me lately.
-my car will probably break down today, be my ride for forever.
-i love when random people smile at me, it really does make my day.

i need a miracle, a surprise, something different, something new, something exciting.

i, i, i, i, i, i, i.

i am so selfish, i need to change this.

final countdown

2009-01-11T22:09:00.000-08:00

this is it,
no more chances.

don't fuck it up again, prove me wrong.

always

2009-01-09T07:50:00.000-08:00

I'll be the first to admit I've made a lot of mistakes in my past but it IS my past and everyone is entitled to one,
so suck it!

420

2009-01-06T17:58:00.000-08:00

it's sad that the only thing i'm truly passionate about is how bullshit the war on drugs is.

too good to be true

2009-01-04T21:41:00.001-08:00

i hate you more and more everyday and i don't want to, it consumes me

byebye

2009-01-02T10:40:00.000-08:00

my bowl broke right after midnight on new years, jamie and i decided this is very symbolic. anyways, i'm leaving all the bullshit in '08. WHATS UP 2009?? LETS BE BFFS! i want this to be the best year of my life.

SEEYA

ps: second karmaloop order (listed below) is supposed to come today, can't waittttttttttttttttttttt! :)
pps: saw benjamin button last night, 1. saddest movie 2. COULD BRAD GET ANY HOTTER?? kill me plz. h8 you angelina
ppps: sorry for all the caps, i feel like i'm fuckin' kanye or something.

karmaloop=bffs

2008-12-26T13:19:00.000-08:00

today i haven't left my bed at all except to run to the bank to put money in my account so i could place this order at karmaloop (with their 60% off sale they have right now! fuck my lifeeee)! can't wait till it comes innnnn. :) this makes the second karmaloop order i've placed this week. I LOVE CHRISTMAS TIME and being a consumer.. just doing my part to help the economy the best i can.

now off to urban, american apparel, and forever 21 (all from the courtesy of my comfy bed). enjoy the holidays friends!

unattached

2008-12-17T17:21:00.000-08:00

i'm a strong believer in saying everything you actually mean, so here it goes..

-best sister, best friend. i love you to the death.
-i gave up a long time ago but that doesn't mean i don't miss you
-stop doing this to me, i can't deal with it and i don't want things to be this way.
-honestly, so over it and i know i've said it a million times but i really AM done trying now.
-;-*
-stop acting your age
-you're a better friend to me than anyone else in my life, i'm sorry i take you for granted sometimes.
-let it go
-you're a complete idiot
-biggest ego, shittiest dude
-the mere thought of you annoys me to no end
-i wish you'd come back already
-womanizer, womanizer, womanzier
-things are always so up and down with you, just be my friend.
-i really meant what i said that time i was drunk
-you're WAY too good for him
-grow the fuck up and take responsibility for your actions for once
-it's always the same story with you and i don't want to hear it anymore

thinking of all of those made me want to throw up. i'm so sick of always feeling this way. ftw, seriously.

snl

2008-12-14T10:33:00.000-08:00

come on kanye, take a break friend.

ftw

2008-12-14T09:48:00.000-08:00

this is all i listen to anymore..

all the bitches love me cuz i'm fuckin' casper

2008-12-14T09:37:00.001-08:00

watched casper last night for the first time in years, how could i ever forget how much i love that movie??

thicker than water

2008-12-14T07:54:00.001-08:00

kind of over it with everyone in my life.. other than ca, she's my bff (she's my sister and my ca (kah)).

what you want for christmas

2008-12-13T16:30:00.000-08:00

Get ready cause my Christmas list
Goes a lil something like this

I want 12 hundred dollars
11 pairs of shoes
10 fingrenails
9 packs of weaves
8 male strippers
7 bus passes
6 diamond rings
5 months free rent
4 bangles
3 pocketbooks
2 earrings
And a man with a lot of money!

puhhlleasee

2008-12-13T11:55:00.000-08:00

forget everything i've said i wanted for christmas, these married to the mob dunks have got to be mine....

ps: size 8

lily

2008-12-13T11:30:00.000-08:00

nail twins.... fuckk! i did it first. ily more than life lily.

baller

2008-12-13T11:19:00.000-08:00

i love when i only have hundred dollar bills..

cooler than that girl

2008-12-12T21:40:00.000-08:00

my life via my nails..

-december
-november
-october
-september
-august
-august
-july
-may
-april

ps: more updates soon, i think i'm just gonna keep a running blog of all my nails; get stoked.

keep me warm

2008-12-12T20:29:00.000-08:00

I finally got a new winter jacket that actually keeps me warm! Its by Soia & Kyo and I found it at Marshalls, soo presh.. but wtf is up with that models face?? Grosssss..

YALL

2008-12-11T23:03:00.000-08:00

its now 2:00am and today (yesterday) i worked from 9am-8pm, cleaned my entire room spotless (you should have seen the wreck it was before), folded all of my clothes, wrote a paper for english, thought some more on how i hate everyone, am currently studying for exams tomorrow.... and i STILL look good!

DAMN

tomorrows the weekend and the last day of my classes, lets party.

ftwwwww

womp womp

2008-12-10T21:32:00.000-08:00

jewelery post

betsey johnson
betsey johnson
betsey johnson
disney couture
han cholo
goodwood
goodwood

all courtesy of karmaloop (in case you were wondering what to get me for christmas.....)

to a fault

2008-12-10T12:36:00.000-08:00

i was just in the shower and the water was pretty hot, nothing out of the ordinary though... when everything started to turn black and i couldn't really stand up, i got out of the shower immediately and felt really weird but after a few minutes i was okay.

i always feel like i'm dying.

fuck fuck ufck

muah

2008-12-09T21:33:00.000-08:00

lookin' gooh! keep it up girlfriend.

is your bed made?

2008-12-07T17:29:00.000-08:00

cutest outfit

broken record

2008-12-06T08:44:00.000-08:00

Right now I feel so empty, and someday won’t be ending.
Until I’ve done all that I can, all that, until I’ve done all that I can.
One day, it’ll get easier, 'Cause right now I feel so simple.
Until I’ve done all that I can, all that, until I’ve done all that I can.
And so I said, "Hello hello hello, I’m right here."
Oh, hello hello hello, I’m right here, I’m right here waiting for...

And I’m young but it’s hard to believe, that someday I will never see you again.
And you might not believe this, but you’ve changed me so much.
But baby baby it’s so hard leaving you and maybe this was the only, the only way.

ATTN: MISTY KAY

2008-12-04T16:52:00.000-08:00

Start blogging already!

dying dreams

2008-12-04T10:01:00.000-08:00

no matter how hard i'd like, i can't seem to cope with this any longer. you make me want to throw everything i own that is glass against a wall.

delicious

2008-12-03T23:32:00.001-08:00

listen

2008-12-03T10:49:00.001-08:00

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

lol

2008-12-03T10:45:00.001-08:00

i have 420 views

xoxo brit brit

2008-12-02T20:50:00.001-08:00

happy birthday gurlfran, i love you.

tired

2008-11-30T12:23:00.000-08:00

I am 100% over having shitty friends, I don't deserve it and I don't need to put up with it. I'm not trying anymore, its become so strenuous trying to make you be a good friend to me. If you think this applies to you it probably does and I would still like to be your friend but that requires a bit of work on your part as well. So either make some changes or I'm gone, I can't deal with this any longer. You're breaking my heart.

adorable

2008-11-21T11:44:00.001-08:00

i see your breath in the air

2008-11-21T10:00:00.001-08:00

The cold weather always rekindles my love for Bright Eyes, there's just nothing else like it.

PS: Conor Oberst, you'll always have my heart. xoxo

lately

2008-11-20T07:50:00.000-08:00

blinded by the light

2008-11-16T19:24:00.001-08:00

Right now I'm happier than I have been in so long, I love it. :)

varsity bitch

2008-11-13T10:47:00.000-08:00

I think this shall be my Christmas present to myself since my mother definitely will not buy it for me. So classy, gotta love Married to the Mob.

Update: It comes in white and purple too! Ughhh, such a hard decision. Which one do you think I should get?

they make me feel so good

2008-11-13T09:41:00.000-08:00

So being a huge T-Pain and Justin Timberlake fan I was absolutely ecstatic when I heard their new remix of Can't Believe It on the radio, honestly in the top ten best songs I've ever listened to. Enjoy. :)

T-Pain/J-Timb Remix

so far

2008-11-12T15:03:00.000-08:00

As Christmas hastily approaches I've already begun picking out what I want and what to buy my friends. These are a few things that have caught my eye.

digital life

2008-11-11T13:22:00.000-08:00

I finally got my Nikon d60. Never been happier. :) Here are some pictures I've taken so far..

delish

2008-10-28T20:26:00.000-07:00

James Dean and Marlon Brando make my heart swoon. OG heartbreakers.

everybodys gonna die

2008-10-26T14:40:00.000-07:00

things i need:

-25 lbs
+20 inches of hair
a tan
to stop complaining
to do my homework
an external hard drive
to shut the fuck up

sick of myself

2008-10-26T14:30:00.000-07:00

I need change.
A new city.
A new home.
A new job.
New friends.
More sleep.
More tattoos.
More money.
Less bullshit.

Can't deal with this anymore.