puppy please

i worked 7 hours today, its been a while since i could say that. it was super stressful but i think i'll get used to it. justine works with me so thats nice to have her around. :) things have been okay lately.. school is boring as ever-i don't know how i'm going to make it through another 2(-2.5??) years of this. blegh

i've been feeling very bi-polar lately, go figure. super happy sometimes, mad depressed the rest. i wish i could clearly express what i mean. i'm tired of my roomates leaving me. i'm tired of feeling totally unimportant to anyone. just like bummed out on life. its just a phase but its killing me.

i feel like i have the vocabulary of a fucking sixth grader.

how much would you bet
that if i tried hard enough
i would spontaneously combust
i wish i could disappear
and run away from all my fears
i think i'm coming undone

give me a puppy and i think i'll feel better.

rvagain

Things in Richmond have been amazing. I've spent so much time with all of my best friends-even Caiti and Misty, Cierra even came to see me a couple weeks ago. I'm really glad I'm settled into my apartment, now to only find a job... I'm bummed school has started but its nice to actually have a purpose again. Overall I'm beyond happy, things are really looking up up up. :)

times are changin'

summer is slipping out of my fingers, however i can't help but embrace the fall. i'm at such a weird place, a mark in adulthood. i move into my apartment on grace street on friday. it's strange knowing that after this i probably will never live at home again. it completely breaks my heart leaving my little brothers, they're the best part of my life. every time i think about leaving them i start to cry. :( don't get me wrong, i'm ready to move... i just don't want my little brothers to grow up while i'm not around. life really is so short, its such a cliche thing to say but even at 20 i feel like time is flying by. i just need to spend good times with good people, i need to get my head on straight, i need to get a job, i need to pay off my debt, i need to do well in school, i need to quit smoking so much weed. :x

on a happier note, i bought new things for the apartment today . some kitchen stuff, a gold ET statue from happys (best find ever), cute little butterfly dishes. my grandma gave me a ton of stuff too. stokedd. life is pretty good. i'm trying to get a job at bottoms up, i hope it works out.

also caiti is coming to see my new place on saturday. soooooooo excited to see my burl, i miss her to death!

i'm super sleepy but i should clean more of my room.. just can't do it.


xox

doo wop

i want new dresses, guess i gotta keep on dreamingg.

horror business

also, download pujo - i'll try to put up a link later. they're a folk misfits (danzig era) cover band. about it.

also about my new tattoo julia gave me. :)
stoked about florida on saturday.
still lonely though. :(

steel train

i have to be up early but i'd rather blog, go figure.

i just got back from richmond around 7pm. pretty bummed to be back home, i've been in the weirdest mood all day but can't quite place my finger on it. though being with friends all week i come back home and just feel more lonely than ever. :( i just can't seem to get out of this state of mind. this has been the best summer so far, but this has also stuck with me for the past few months. i think its a combination of losing my job, constantly disappointing my parents, being broke, so many new changes coming up and genuinely feeling like i have no one here for me. my friends say they are but they're still hours away and its not the same. i know i only have a month or so left of this but it still just sucks. i don't want another hour of this, another day, another week. i don't want to or need to complain anymore, i just need to get my life in order.. i'm just not sure how to go about that, not sure what's out of order. i just need somebody.


:(

god loves you

nothing but rain in the future but i can't help but to be so elated. i move in with two of the cutest girls i know in less than a month and my best friend will live next door to me. this is going to be the best year of my life. i'm going to move in with charlie next week and hopefully take a trip down to norfolk soon. :) as much as i hate to say it, i love life...or i will once i get out of here at least. between the bills piling up and all the shit i have to get done before school i'm kinda stressing but i think everything will work out well. life is good, i love my friends, now i just wanna fall in love.