hate

I'm so tired of cops, speed limits, no sleep, whining, being sick, school.

-I hate that weeds not legal, not because I'm a pot head but because I believe that as an American citizen you have the right to make choices for yourself.

-I really hate that gay marriage isn't legal. 1. Honestly I'm tired of hearing about it. I wish it wasn't even anything that was an issue or something that needed to be talked about. 2. Once again I think its your right to be able to make your own choices. 3. Plus let's face it, your neighbors Christopher and Steven getting married will not ruin your already failing marriage or be detrimental to your little brat's future. Ps: Fuck off Ms.California.

I might write more later.
Htw
Anarchy! Anarchy! Anarchy!

so gone

i am too sleepy to put together sentences that make sense

my stomach aches
my eyes are half closed
my heart is empty
i'm worn

i miss having people in my life
who actually give a shit

i miss irresponsibility
i miss sleeping when i want
doing what i want
when i want and
not having to work

i don't want to be sleeping in my bed right now, i'm feeling whiny.. i hate when i get like this.

richmond was a blast
this weather is amazing
i got a new wardrobe
i'm going to clean my room
and blow my nose
and do my homework
and sleep.



i miss justine already :(

you know what it's like

when you have to force yourself not to text somebody
can't think about anything else
hate not being around them


missed this

parallels, attention and time

tonight on my drive home (listening to tv on the radio) all i could think about was how all i wanted to do was go home, take off all my clothes and blog... so here i am.

i've come to realize a lot of things as of late, let me explain.

1. i have this one friend, she is one of my best friends but we're constantly talking about her shitty relationship she's in. i always tell her she needs to quit dat dick but bitch won't listen. they just love each other too much but can't be together, you know.. that kind of thing. anyways, on my drive home tonight i realized a parallel relationship i have in my life. never noticing it before but i have someone in my life currently who is the hov, to me.. beyonce (wtf am i talking about?). but i hope you understand though.


2. earlier tonight i got an IM (that i got after work) from an old friend that sparked thoughts..i know that i definitely have commitment issues (lame) but i completely stand by what i say "my hearts too big." i'd love everyone if i could, i don't know what it is but this accurately describes me.



i just get really bored easily, other people attract my attention. i don't mean for it to be that way but if you're not trying hard enough, in the words of tegan and sara (lol), "i'm not unfaithful, but i'll stray." i'm sorry boys, i don't mean to be such a heartless bitch all the time. really i don't, but you need to try
harder to keep my attention if you wanna make it happen. it's not that i don't want to be in a relationship but i just can't get someone to get me to pay attention for five minutes. sweep me off my feet plz, i want to be blown away.

if ya like it then you shoulda put a ring on it

3. another realization: the reason my room is always a complete disaster zone is because i'm always late for something (and throw clothes everywhere while getting dressed and never have time to clean up) and if not late then definitely not early either. late for class, late to work (just a minute or two), late to meet my friends, late to pick up my brother. one thing i've decided since i've started being grown is that i 100% need to work on my time management skills. i feel like everyday is actually like 10 hours and i work 6 of those, party for 2, eat for 1, and sleep for 1. it's a terrible life and starting tomorrow ima be a changed woman. this is completely unacceptable.

-h@ley



(post secret you always "get" me)

life

i work too much to blog (i always say blong), i hate it.
i've been working to pay off all my debt i've acquired lately.. after working tonight i should be finished...

$$$
-paid sister $60 today (owe $50)
-need to pay bank $151.14 (ftw)
-still need to pay off wachovia which hasn't been done for months...

once i get all that bullshit taken care of i can finally start saving money to move back to richmond...

no work tomorrow, ima blo(n)g all day long.



a further note,
i need to stop partying so hard
eating so much fast food
and smoking cigarettes

recap

Richmond breaks my heart, I miss it and the people there more than anyone can know. I finally decided I'm moving back come the summer, there's no place else for me (at least for the time being). I'm glad I've grown up a lot since last year, I'm not naive anymore. I'm not stupid and I have a lot better judge of character this go round.

I'm so lonely these days, I'm not really sure what's gotten into me. I think it's because in Richmond I'm around Justine and so many other people who make me so happy and I truly love to be around and I know they feel the same way... but here it's like if I don't call anyone I'll go days and days without hearing from any of my "friends". I don't have anyone anymore. I miss Caiti more than I can say, I'm trying to go see her this weekend.. I really hope that can happen. I know I just went to Richmond but I just can't stay in this city anymore, Greensboro's calling my name. I know never again in my life will I have a friend like Caiti, she makes me mad sometimes but there's no one in this world who is more amazing than she is.

I hate feeling like I can't breathe anymore because of this stupid habit I've aquired. I'm going to quit this before it gets too outta control. I got a new job, working at Wasabi's. It's the first legit, well paying job I've ever had. It stresses me out beyond belief, I feel like I'm never going to learn all the bullshit I need to know, and my boss terrifys me... but I think I'll be okay and god knows I need the money. I figured it up and between my two jobs I think I can save at least $3,000 by the time it rolls around for me to move, so I feel pretty secure with that. I need to fill out my VCU application asap. I don't think it's due for a while but I'd like to find out via early decision.

I feel like I'm so incredibly boring these days, I appologize a thousand times over.