puppy please

i worked 7 hours today, its been a while since i could say that. it was super stressful but i think i'll get used to it. justine works with me so thats nice to have her around. :) things have been okay lately.. school is boring as ever-i don't know how i'm going to make it through another 2(-2.5??) years of this. blegh

i've been feeling very bi-polar lately, go figure. super happy sometimes, mad depressed the rest. i wish i could clearly express what i mean. i'm tired of my roomates leaving me. i'm tired of feeling totally unimportant to anyone. just like bummed out on life. its just a phase but its killing me.

i feel like i have the vocabulary of a fucking sixth grader.

how much would you bet
that if i tried hard enough
i would spontaneously combust
i wish i could disappear
and run away from all my fears
i think i'm coming undone

give me a puppy and i think i'll feel better.

rvagain

Things in Richmond have been amazing. I've spent so much time with all of my best friends-even Caiti and Misty, Cierra even came to see me a couple weeks ago. I'm really glad I'm settled into my apartment, now to only find a job... I'm bummed school has started but its nice to actually have a purpose again. Overall I'm beyond happy, things are really looking up up up. :)

times are changin'

summer is slipping out of my fingers, however i can't help but embrace the fall. i'm at such a weird place, a mark in adulthood. i move into my apartment on grace street on friday. it's strange knowing that after this i probably will never live at home again. it completely breaks my heart leaving my little brothers, they're the best part of my life. every time i think about leaving them i start to cry. :( don't get me wrong, i'm ready to move... i just don't want my little brothers to grow up while i'm not around. life really is so short, its such a cliche thing to say but even at 20 i feel like time is flying by. i just need to spend good times with good people, i need to get my head on straight, i need to get a job, i need to pay off my debt, i need to do well in school, i need to quit smoking so much weed. :x

on a happier note, i bought new things for the apartment today . some kitchen stuff, a gold ET statue from happys (best find ever), cute little butterfly dishes. my grandma gave me a ton of stuff too. stokedd. life is pretty good. i'm trying to get a job at bottoms up, i hope it works out.

also caiti is coming to see my new place on saturday. soooooooo excited to see my burl, i miss her to death!

i'm super sleepy but i should clean more of my room.. just can't do it.


xox

doo wop

i want new dresses, guess i gotta keep on dreamingg.

horror business

also, download pujo - i'll try to put up a link later. they're a folk misfits (danzig era) cover band. about it.

also about my new tattoo julia gave me. :)
stoked about florida on saturday.
still lonely though. :(

steel train

i have to be up early but i'd rather blog, go figure.

i just got back from richmond around 7pm. pretty bummed to be back home, i've been in the weirdest mood all day but can't quite place my finger on it. though being with friends all week i come back home and just feel more lonely than ever. :( i just can't seem to get out of this state of mind. this has been the best summer so far, but this has also stuck with me for the past few months. i think its a combination of losing my job, constantly disappointing my parents, being broke, so many new changes coming up and genuinely feeling like i have no one here for me. my friends say they are but they're still hours away and its not the same. i know i only have a month or so left of this but it still just sucks. i don't want another hour of this, another day, another week. i don't want to or need to complain anymore, i just need to get my life in order.. i'm just not sure how to go about that, not sure what's out of order. i just need somebody.


:(

god loves you

nothing but rain in the future but i can't help but to be so elated. i move in with two of the cutest girls i know in less than a month and my best friend will live next door to me. this is going to be the best year of my life. i'm going to move in with charlie next week and hopefully take a trip down to norfolk soon. :) as much as i hate to say it, i love life...or i will once i get out of here at least. between the bills piling up and all the shit i have to get done before school i'm kinda stressing but i think everything will work out well. life is good, i love my friends, now i just wanna fall in love.

birthday post

urban outfitters









still hoping for these..




i'll post more later <3
buy me any or all of those things

soup or fish all

fucking genius! cupcake flavored floss, yes please!

also, i love this aa dress. super adorable.



this too

wtf was i talking about in my last blog?
embarrassinggggg

FUpt2

i wish i had a twitter,
not really but if i did it would say


"haley wants to pee on the floor right now"


i'm beyond fucked up and i want to fight everyone..

DO SOMETHIN, YOU WON'T!

FU

srsly want to kill everyone
srsly worst day
srsly hate you all
srsly want to move
srsly still want to kill everyone
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

i'm gonna finish the rest of this AWESOME natty light and then smoke the rest of my cigarettes, kill everyone, and then sleep. kbye

parents just don't understand

i'm dumb


had to be at work at 9am, woke up at 11:15... that sucks. gotta work again at 4:30 so hopefully i'll make it then.. haha only kidding of course. naw but forreals my parents are so pissed at me, i feel like this kind of signifies me DEFINITELY moving to richmond at the end of the month. i have to, it's forreal fucking killing me here. if only they knew how unhappy i was living here. i wish i could move to richmond right now, fuck work, fuck life, fuck responsibilities. i have no vocabulary but "fuck", "weed", "sleep", and "work". waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh i wish i didn't suck so hard, chill with me all the time. richmond in 2.5 weeks, fuck yall.




thx, h@



ps: bring me weed

187

yes please

finally

so looks like i'm going to be moving to richmond earlier than i thought. will and i are gonna share a room at charlie's house. lolol its gonna rule. so stoked to be in richmond for the summer, so stoked to be away from this place, so stoked to be on my own again. ftww i will miss lots of people here though.. :( (ca, spense, jamie, cierra, natalie, baby brothers). mm anyways stoked on that, stoked on doing really well on all my exams and final projects. life's pretty good right now. 

"and you hate the person you've become - bitter, angry, and isolated"

couldn't have said it better myself. getting kicked out is no fun, neither is having no place to stay. fuck i hate this. hate life, hate everyone, never slept last night, stomach hurts from so much coffee. i better do well on this exam and pass this class or i'm going to straight up kill somebody. 

:(:( cheer me up, i know it's my fault but damn.. it'd be nice to have somebody sometimes.

also 27 days left of being a teenager, i better live this shit up

h8 getting old, ftw

666

officially not stoked to go to work, so tired of it. give me money to do nothing please? please??? please please plz plz plz dfjfuck fuck fuck. brother found my weed, thats cool. told my mom, thats whatever. i can't wait to move to richmond. wish i could go nowwwwwwww. i see myself falling into a lot of my old habits, i need to stop this before it gets out of hand. got to go dry my fucking hair and put on my black uniform and ship off to society. PEACE

this says it all

this fully sums up about 75% of the friendships i have, thanks friends.

I always had a weak spot for you
You only needed me when it was convenient
I learn now, don't let people in my life so fast
Cos' they never last
I find my childhood friends are the ones I can depend on.
Cos' everyone has a past, right or wrong.

You were a fairweather friend
You didn't have my back til the end
You took what you needed and disappeared again
Fairweather friend, you didn't have my back til the end
You took what you needed and disappeared again.

We don't need friends like you
We don't need friends like you
We don't need friends like you
Right or Wrong

hate

I'm so tired of cops, speed limits, no sleep, whining, being sick, school.

-I hate that weeds not legal, not because I'm a pot head but because I believe that as an American citizen you have the right to make choices for yourself.

-I really hate that gay marriage isn't legal. 1. Honestly I'm tired of hearing about it. I wish it wasn't even anything that was an issue or something that needed to be talked about. 2. Once again I think its your right to be able to make your own choices. 3. Plus let's face it, your neighbors Christopher and Steven getting married will not ruin your already failing marriage or be detrimental to your little brat's future. Ps: Fuck off Ms.California.

I might write more later.
Htw
Anarchy! Anarchy! Anarchy!

so gone

i am too sleepy to put together sentences that make sense

my stomach aches
my eyes are half closed
my heart is empty
i'm worn

i miss having people in my life
who actually give a shit

i miss irresponsibility
i miss sleeping when i want
doing what i want
when i want and
not having to work

i don't want to be sleeping in my bed right now, i'm feeling whiny.. i hate when i get like this.

richmond was a blast
this weather is amazing
i got a new wardrobe
i'm going to clean my room
and blow my nose
and do my homework
and sleep.



i miss justine already :(

you know what it's like

when you have to force yourself not to text somebody
can't think about anything else
hate not being around them


missed this

parallels, attention and time

tonight on my drive home (listening to tv on the radio) all i could think about was how all i wanted to do was go home, take off all my clothes and blog... so here i am.

i've come to realize a lot of things as of late, let me explain.

1. i have this one friend, she is one of my best friends but we're constantly talking about her shitty relationship she's in. i always tell her she needs to quit dat dick but bitch won't listen. they just love each other too much but can't be together, you know.. that kind of thing. anyways, on my drive home tonight i realized a parallel relationship i have in my life. never noticing it before but i have someone in my life currently who is the hov, to me.. beyonce (wtf am i talking about?). but i hope you understand though.


2. earlier tonight i got an IM (that i got after work) from an old friend that sparked thoughts..i know that i definitely have commitment issues (lame) but i completely stand by what i say "my hearts too big." i'd love everyone if i could, i don't know what it is but this accurately describes me.



i just get really bored easily, other people attract my attention. i don't mean for it to be that way but if you're not trying hard enough, in the words of tegan and sara (lol), "i'm not unfaithful, but i'll stray." i'm sorry boys, i don't mean to be such a heartless bitch all the time. really i don't, but you need to try
harder to keep my attention if you wanna make it happen. it's not that i don't want to be in a relationship but i just can't get someone to get me to pay attention for five minutes. sweep me off my feet plz, i want to be blown away.

if ya like it then you shoulda put a ring on it

3. another realization: the reason my room is always a complete disaster zone is because i'm always late for something (and throw clothes everywhere while getting dressed and never have time to clean up) and if not late then definitely not early either. late for class, late to work (just a minute or two), late to meet my friends, late to pick up my brother. one thing i've decided since i've started being grown is that i 100% need to work on my time management skills. i feel like everyday is actually like 10 hours and i work 6 of those, party for 2, eat for 1, and sleep for 1. it's a terrible life and starting tomorrow ima be a changed woman. this is completely unacceptable.

-h@ley



(post secret you always "get" me)

life

i work too much to blog (i always say blong), i hate it.
i've been working to pay off all my debt i've acquired lately.. after working tonight i should be finished...

$$$
-paid sister $60 today (owe $50)
-need to pay bank $151.14 (ftw)
-still need to pay off wachovia which hasn't been done for months...

once i get all that bullshit taken care of i can finally start saving money to move back to richmond...

no work tomorrow, ima blo(n)g all day long.



a further note,
i need to stop partying so hard
eating so much fast food
and smoking cigarettes

recap

Richmond breaks my heart, I miss it and the people there more than anyone can know. I finally decided I'm moving back come the summer, there's no place else for me (at least for the time being). I'm glad I've grown up a lot since last year, I'm not naive anymore. I'm not stupid and I have a lot better judge of character this go round.

I'm so lonely these days, I'm not really sure what's gotten into me. I think it's because in Richmond I'm around Justine and so many other people who make me so happy and I truly love to be around and I know they feel the same way... but here it's like if I don't call anyone I'll go days and days without hearing from any of my "friends". I don't have anyone anymore. I miss Caiti more than I can say, I'm trying to go see her this weekend.. I really hope that can happen. I know I just went to Richmond but I just can't stay in this city anymore, Greensboro's calling my name. I know never again in my life will I have a friend like Caiti, she makes me mad sometimes but there's no one in this world who is more amazing than she is.

I hate feeling like I can't breathe anymore because of this stupid habit I've aquired. I'm going to quit this before it gets too outta control. I got a new job, working at Wasabi's. It's the first legit, well paying job I've ever had. It stresses me out beyond belief, I feel like I'm never going to learn all the bullshit I need to know, and my boss terrifys me... but I think I'll be okay and god knows I need the money. I figured it up and between my two jobs I think I can save at least $3,000 by the time it rolls around for me to move, so I feel pretty secure with that. I need to fill out my VCU application asap. I don't think it's due for a while but I'd like to find out via early decision.

I feel like I'm so incredibly boring these days, I appologize a thousand times over.